What am I up to?

Well, I am still tackling a music project that seems to keep challanging me to grow as a musician every day. When I first decided to persue a compiling of songs on a plastic disk, it was going to be instrumental and I was going to be the a solo guitar artist like my influences :Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, Eric Johnson, John Petrucci... It has pretty much evolved away from that completely. I figured at the time, I would be able to find people who like that type of music and I would be able to connect with a drummer, basser, guitarer who were just as enthused to go for that musical approach. Slowly that died off and I started to write stuff that is more toward lyrical based song construction. I started to listen to more and more stuff that has words and I really started to enjoy the style and emotion that a voice can bring to music. This was a bit new to me because when I started music I was 100% set on instrumental rock stuff. I look back at it now as a musical growth that has made me more rounded and thus, no harm done and I make out better for it. Cool beans.

Well, through this progression as a writer I have found as difficult to gather a group together to where I can just be: Firstly, a strong guitar playing force and Secondly a strong song writing force in the band.

"Oh well" Sayith I, "It's just struggles that I am certain many people go through in searching so I'll just keep pressing forth the way I have."

More and more I found that doing just those roles was not enough and I have to expand and adapt. Which reminds me, I remmember one of my best college teachers I had at UNR saying, "Do you guys know what the definition to insanity is= Doing the same things over an over and over and expecting a different result."

That came to me at a good time and I am trying to approach things in different ways.

Well this kinda brings things up to date without to much intense detail. Basically, now I've taken a step back to look at things and I am find myself pushing to take on the many roles that make up the sound in a song.

One, I am writing drums on my computer and learning the advantages and disadvantages of that process. Two, I am writing bass guitar parts (until I go buy a bass guitar and just play it myself) which also has advatages and disadvantages. Three, I'm also trying to push my guitar playing and writing skills as far as I creatively can taking into considereration all the drums and bass that I will have to come up with to fit the guitar parts. Trust me, it has limitations. Lastly, I am now trying to sing to all the crazyness that I have been realeasing out of my emotions and through my guitar. I am finding this part of me to be the most challenging and daunting task. Until the last couple months, I have never really tried out my vocal wings, especially to the music I have come up with. It's a bit hard to pick it up and and try and match up with my other abilities that I have been working on for 2-6 years. It's a bit frustrating because it is now really the last piece that I have in order to accomidate the music I have written. At the same time it's scary, kind of like my first attempts at soloing on guitar or my first attempt at public speaking. I am reluctant to letting anyone hear what I have attempted. Only the few have heard hints of stuff. Also, it's not just average singing that I want to hear with this music. Thus, I am very critical of myself when I listen back to it and I decide whether I have what it takes for the voice at the center of this music. It's definitely new ground for me. It's scary and I struggle with my faith in it but I am going at it with the mindset that, quote, "Sometimes you have to jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down."

All in all, What am I really up to? Either, I am pushing myself or being pushed through all the musical challenges I have faced and I am still uncertain but interested in how it will pan out.

Woopie That's two blogs in 7 months for me. Talk to you next spring.